Just about anyone who has depression and/or anxiety can tell you, it’s a series of peaks and valleys. It’s an ebb and flow of good and bad and balance between the two. Some days/weeks/months are better than others.
Right now, I’m standing on one of those peaks and it feels awesome.
Peaks can be self-sabotaging (at least for me), because I get in this head-space of “it’s only temporary” and I spend the entire time waiting for the low to hit. And of course, the low hits sooner rather than later… because I’ve turned the high into a low by being anxious over being happy.
I’m trying really hard not to do that right now.
Physics tells us that it’s easier to maintain momentum than overcome inertia. This law has been applied to everything from business to fitness, and it applies to mental health, too.
When I’m on a high, it’s a lot easier for me to do the things that help me keep the anxiety and depression at bay. Sometimes, I try to do too much (a result of the self-sabotaging anxiety I talked about; “this isn’t going to last to I need to get everything done now, now, now!”) and I burn myself out.
Lately, however, I’ve found myself doing just the right amount to keep feeling good, but without overexerting and exhausting myself.
- I’m working on my homework and school reading every day, but not for endless hours with a mindset of “have to finish everything immediately,” and I’m feeling really confident about this class.
- I’m getting things cleaned and organized, without making an even bigger mess by trying to pull everything out and rearranging it all at once. I’m working on one area at a time.
- I’m trying to eat better (or at least be more conscious of what I’m eating). I’ve been eating more colors, which is new. I usually just stick to a few simple things I like (salads made of just lettuce, carrots, and ranch; chicken breast, pastries as far as the eye can see), but I’m trying to incorporate a bigger variety into my meals. Some of these things aren’t my favorite foods, but I’m also not forcing myself to eat things I genuinely dislike.
- I’m… okay, I’m still spending way too much money, but one step at a time, right? Haha!
I’m finding it easier to maintain a balance between responsibilities and enjoyment, and in this I’m finding enjoyment in my responsibilities. And that’s a pretty cool feeling.
I love you all.