Or maybe you might call it fate, or destiny, or maybe if you’re not religious you just call them coincidences.
My ex and I used to talk a lot about free will. We still do, actually, on occasion. He thinks that my belief in God’s intervention (or fate, as it were) runs directly counter to the idea of free will. He believes that because God gave us free will that God does not get involved in our lives. I disagree.
I believe we have free will to a point. I believe that there are certain things which we must go through to grow as individuals. I believe these things to be unavoidable and that, no matter what choices we make on that path, the destination remains unchanged.
We’re born and we die. We get no choice in this. It’s indisputable. Let’s call it A (birth) to Z (death). And during that trip from A to Z, we make stops at other letters (life events). Maybe we decide that we’ll stop at B, J, and R on our way to Z, but we’re going to avoid E, Q, and X. I believe that some of those letters are unavoidable, no matter how hard we try. E might just be set in stone and there is no way to avoid it. We can try, we can spend a lot of time at D or try to move on to F, but one way or another we find ourselves at E.
I’m thankful for that E. I believe I’ve hit one of my “E-points” in that something occurred which I fought like a stray cat to avoid, but here it is anyway.
And I’m better for it. It was painful. It’s still painful. It hurts and a small part of me wishes I didn’t have to go through it, but I am, I have, and I’m growing into a person that I like–a person I know I would not have been without running face-first into this E that I tried so hard to dodge.
(And trust me; I did try my absolute best to avoid this and it had severe negative consequences on me mentally and emotionally, which also domino-effected my physical health. So, maybe that’s more what I believe–not that it’s unavoidable, but that it’s damaging to do so; that the mental/emotional/physical anguish we fell is God’s nudge saying, “No. That way.”)
Before I go, I want to say this one bit for clarification: I don’t believe “E” necessarily has to be a tangible event, like getting married or going bankrupt (but I do believe that it is generally something we are afraid to face, because that’s how we grow). “E” might be an epiphany, or some other type of mental/emotional realization, like learning compassion for your enemies, deciding that money truly can’t buy happiness, or the pure, simple joy derived from sitting in nature.