I have anxiety. I actively avoid situations where I think problems (especially problems I haven’t dealt with before, or I know to be time consuming) could arise. But, sometimes those situations are unavoidable. Sometimes a regular, mundane task turns into a nightmare.
Like yesterday, when Pup’s car broke down on the freeway (*ahem* again). Typically when this happens, I just chill and let him handle it and the only thing I have to worry about is the awkward ride in the tow truck with the driver, because sometimes they’re chatty.
Except this time, AAA didn’t come through and long story short: Pup and I ended up stranded at a mechanic in El Cajon as the sun was going down. Not ideal.
It’s in these moments where (I suppose you would call them) my survival instincts kick in, but I prefer to think of it as having grace under pressure. These situations where, “Okay, I need to get the thing done or I will suffer greatly.” These instincts tend to (temporarily) override my anxiety so I can Do The Thing.
Which, yesterday, I did. I called my mother to see if she could pick us up (“maybe”) and in the meantime I pointed us in the direction of the nearest trolley station and dragged Pup walking. While we walked, he tried to call a taxi (no answer), so I suggested he get an Uber.* Which, since we’ve never used an Uber before, didn’t even occur to him.
Once my mom was closer in the area, she called me and we got a ride with her. Everything turned out okay and my anxiety was unable to hinder my ability to make sure that happened.
I mean, sure, when I got home all that suppressed anxiety was released and I cried for a good twenty minutes, but I still got it done!
And that’s something to be thankful for.
I love you all.
*People say that Uber is killing the independent taxi industry, but maybe the taxi industry wouldn’t be failing if they actually answered when people called them for rides. Just a thought.