Diary: San Diego County Fair

Lucky, lucky ya’ll! Not only is this diary post brimming with five whole pictures (whaaa), but it’s also chock full of tips and tricks to improve your county-fair-going experience!

So, yesterday, Pup and I went to the SD County Fair. Formerly known as the Del Mar Fair because it’s held in Del Mar at the Del Mar Fairgrounds, but screw logic and tradition; there are some people who don’t think they belong at the fair because they’re not specifically from the Del Mar part of San Diego. Those people are idiots and I don’t like them, because it’s the Del Mar Fair and no one can tell me otherwise.

Anyhoo.

04

The theme for this year’s fair is “When the West was Fun!” To which my feet posit the question: Was it ever?

Seriously, here’s a little tip from me to you: If you’re going to the fair, wear comfortable shoes. No heels, even if you think they’re comfortable, because they’re not. They may be comfortable for the ten minutes you walk from the car to the movie theater, or to wear at the office, but they’re not actually comfortable. It’s a false comfort that leads you to doing stupid things like wearing chunky heels to the county fair, where you learn that they are, in fact, not comfortable.

Just walking from the car to the front entrance, my feet were toast. Hamburger meat, basically. Literally the first thing we did when we came in was find the genius booth that was selling shoes and bought myself an over priced pair of off-brand high-top sneakers. They helped slightly, but by that point the damage had been done. Seriously, the soles of my feet look like bubble wrap.

01
Me in a coffin, because by that point I was dead on my feet. Get it?

Another pro-tip: If your thighs tend to touch and rub, wear leggings. You’re not going to want to wear leggings, because it’s summer and it’s hot, and also you’re trying to go for a sexy “check out these gams” vibe with the cute shoes and cut-off shorts. But, trust me, wear. the damn. leggings. Because by the end of our second hour, my thighs were chafing so bad I couldn’t walk through the exhibits and we had to leave. Which, yea, totally sexy.

But, aside from being in excruciating, mind-numbing pain from my foolish fashion choices, it was a fun day.

Or, as fun as the SD County Fair can be. I show up for two reasons and two reasons only: I like to look at the flowers (of which many pictures were taken and will be shown in a different post once they’ve been properly edited) and I like the look at the art/craft exhibits. I don’t play games, I don’t shop, and I sure as hell don’t eat fair food.

Really, that’s another A+ tip: Don’t eat fair food. Pup and I went last year and as we were walking away from a booth (where we got ice cream), I noticed bees in the lemonade. That’s not a euphemism and it wasn’t a joke. Actual honest-to-God dead bees were floating in the lemonade machine. Don’t eat fair food.

05
That’s a scorpion and (if you look closely) snakes made out of wood and some other stuff. “Found materials” I think they call it.

We saw a few interesting sights that made me stop and think to myself, “What the fuck?” Which is pretty par for the course at the SD Fair.

We did see an “Old West Cinnamon Rolls” booth, which we thought was hilarious. Because, when I think the “old west” the first thing that pops into my mind are cinnamon rolls. Sadly, I didn’t take a picture of it (I literally felt a blister on my foot pop–actually felt it like bubble wrap–and the horror of that distracted me). When we go back to the fair (in sensible shoes and leggings), I’ll take a picture, and get a cinnamon roll. Because I love cinnamon rolls. Which is probably why my thighs rub together and chafe when I walk in shorts.

03
Their eyes (unintentionally, I assume) followed us as we walked by, which just scared the bejeezuz out of me because I hate things that “watch” me.

The Fair is a smorgasbord of Weird Shit™ from local artists. Some of it is pretty amazing. Some of it is head-scratching. And some of it (like the above picture) is just downright terrifying. But, that’s what art does. And there’s always a market for it. (Also, my hat is off to anybody who puts themselves out there like that; I may not always understand what you’re doing, but I respect the hell out of you for doing it).

I regret having to leave early and not getting to properly experience all the Weird Shit™ the Fair has to offer. But, I told Pup we’ll come back (again, properly attired) and check it out. We didn’t even get to see the cakes! I love the cakes. The cakes are one of my favorite parts of the art/craft exhibits.

A fun side note before I end this post, they have the weirdest seats in one of the main halls that dug right into my nooks and crannies, if you get my drift:

02
I felt like I lost my virginity all over again.

I doubt the staff at the SD Fair will ever come across this post, but if you do, here’s one last tip from my experiences at the Fair: Next time, scrap the seating that violates your patrons. That’s not fun for anyone.

I love you all.

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