I usually hate summer. The heat and all the kids being out of school, crowding the stores and parks and beaches. Seasonal depression (seasonal affective disorder) is this form of depression related to changes in the seasons. Usually, it happens in the fall and winter, so I’ve always joked that I have the opposite; I get horribly depressed in the summer and pick back up in colder weather.
But, for some reason, I am just… digging it this summer. I mean, I’m still horrifically depressed, but I at least have the desire to do things. I’m excited at the prospect of doing those things when I have the time/energy/money. During any other summer, I don’t want to do anything other than lie in bed and melt.
This summer, I’m coming up with all these ideas for things I want to do–more short-term projects and long-term goals.
Unfortunately, I don’t have seasonal depression. I have regular chronic depression, so despite having all these ideas, I still lack the energy to actually get any of them done. But, man! I’m compiling quite a list for when I do have the energy and motivation.
And I’m excited! I’m excited to do all the things I want to do. I just wish I could do them instantly because, again, I have no energy (or in some cases I have no money or space). That can be a bummer, because I get frustrated when I have ideas and I want to do them, but I can’t get them done for whatever reason.
But, despite that frustration, I’m still excited. And that’s cool, because I haven’t been excited in a long time.