Diary: Downsizing

Four years ago, I lived in a house. Pup and I had our own room, plus I had a craft room, plus we stored some things in the garage. Then everything fell apart and I moved back in with my mother, where I only have a bedroom.

For the last four years, I’ve been trying to cram about 200 sq. ft. of stuff into a 132 sq. ft. room.

Obviously, it’s not working. (Fuck you, physics.)

So, at the moment, I’m in the process of cleaning and rearranging my bedroom. I’m finally getting rid of all the crap I’ve accumulated over the years. Most of which is craft supplies (I have an addiction) and clothes (I have no idea why; I wear pretty much the same four outfits in succession).

This is emotionally trying for me, because whenever I get rid of something I just see money going up in flames. I’m trying to remind myself that, whether I get rid of it or let it sit in a drawer for three years, that item still isn’t being used and that money is still gone. That makes it no less difficult to part with.

But, aside from the emotional labor involved, downsizing is just physically demanding. Here’s what I’ve done so far:

  • Filled about six boxes with stuff and hauled them out of my room. With some assistance from Pup, I also hauled them out of the apartment entirely.
  • Removed pretty much everything from my closet except the two pieces of furniture in there (a bookshelf and nightstand, icyww).
  • Went through all storage containers in the closet. Got rid of hardly anything because I think I might have done this before… dammit.
  • Put everything back in the closet (in a slightly more accessible way… I can actually get to my baking supplies without having to take thirty other things out first).
  • Washed all the clothes I plan to try selling.
  • Transferred my remaining craft supplies from one set of drawers to another.
  • Transferred most (but not yet all) of my sewing supplies to the old set of drawers.

Here’s what I still have left to do:

  • Finish transferring sewing supplies. I’ll probably need to get rid of some.
  • Finish a couple minor craft projects to free up space.
  • Remove shelving to be hung more efficiently.
  • Paint the shelves I take down so everything fucking matches seriously this is causing me so much anxiety my shelves are four different fucking colors whyyyyyyy.
  • Patch the holes from the old shelving arrangement and paint them (this requires me going to the front office to get touch-up paint… I hate going to the front office).
  • Take almost everything out of my bedroom, including most of the furniture.
  • Move my dresser to the closet.
  • Move my bed centered along the wall (so I can change my sheets easier).
  • Move my furniture back into my room.
  • Rehang the shelves in a way that makes sense.
  • Put everything back.

I currently have stacks of books and craft paper on my craft table. My desk is just… an inefficient nightmare. Subscription boxes seem like a good idea until you have four six-foot-tall stacks of them with nowhere to go.

I worked on this pretty much all day on Friday last week and most of Saturday, but it still feels like I’ve barely made a dent. I’m exhausted and sore and burned out, but my room is still a mess and that’s just stressing me out.

Aren’t bedrooms supposed to be a place where you can relax?

That’s my goal. To have a calm, relaxing space.

Maybe by Christmas.

I love you all.


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