Happy New Year! I hope 2018 brings all of you love, light, and joy.
I’ve started this post about six times, now. I feel like it’s the first of the year and I should make some grand announcement about my plans to improve myself and my life in 2018, like so many other people are doing.
But, honestly? I’m just not feeling it.
I’ve made resolutions in the past and they always fall through. It’s impossible for me to set out goals for the entire year–hell, my goals for the week usually change midway through. A year isn’t that long, but it seems vast stretching out before me. Whenever I write out resolutions, be they vague and general or detailed and specific, I always over-shoot and fall flat.
This year, I’ve decided not to do that. Rather than focusing on all the things, I’ve decided in 2018 to not focus on some things. I’m calling these things “non-resolutions” because they aren’t getting any resolve from me, this year:
- Finding a job. I’ve been afforded a fantastic opportunity to focus solely on school and I need to stop squandering it. I’m blessed that I have parents that help me meet my financial needs, that are willing to house me and feed me while I devote my time to studying. I also desperately need to catch up on so many years of schooling that I wasted. So, in 2018, I will stop trying to find a job which will only spread my time and attention even thinner.
- Finding a date. 2017 saw me floundering in the dating pool. OK Cupid is a cesspool of perverts and jaded pseudo-intellectuals. Flirting with people in real life is a nightmare. If it happens, that’s cool, but I’m done wasting my time seeking someone out.
- Learning to drive. I have severe anxiety around driving. I keep trying to force myself to get over it and I keep not being able to get over it. All this has done is make me feel like a failure and add to my anxiety and depression. Obviously, I need some serious professional help to get over this hurdle that I just don’t have access to at the moment. I’m done feeling guilty and useless for a fear I can’t help.
So, those are some of the things that I plan not to do with 2018. I can’t really tell you what I do plan to do with it, just yet. I still don’t really know.
But, I’ll let you know when I get there.
This is going to be a great year, witches. I can feel it in my bones.
I love you all.
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