A very quick update

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Trigger Warning: Anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, US politics

I’m running a little late with this week’s planner spread. I’ll have it up either later tonight or tomorrow. School and sanity takes priority. Thank you for your patience.

But, I need to vent a little bit here, so bear with me in the meantime, please.

I’m tired. And frustrated. And angry. And scared. And a lot of other things that a lot of other people, and especially those who live in the United States right now, can probably relate to.

These aren’t good times to have depression and anxiety. A protest is a bad place to have a panic attack and I freeze up talking on the phone, so I mostly sit at home and write emails to my state’s senators thanking them for being from California and not being complete a*holes.

I wish I could do more. There’s a war being fought out there and I feel like I’m not doing enough to help. But I can’t read the news on the way to work anymore because I almost jumped in front of the train the other day and it’s getting difficult to explain my red, puffy eyes to my coworkers when I get in each morning because I’ve “never had allergies this bad before.”

I try to spread information, and I try to donate to places on those rare periods when I get a little extra money in my paycheck, but it doesn’t seem like enough. I’m exhausted from arguing with people who just don’t want to get it. I want to have hope but it’s just so difficult right now.

I feel helpless. Like I can’t help myself and I can’t help anyone else.

I’ve been considering switching my major back to psychology, which would be… a thing. I’d basically be starting my entire education over from scratch because I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten a lot of what I learned a decade ago when psychology was still my major. I just feel like… with a psychology degree… I could actually help people?

And right now, I feel like the world needs more people who want to help each other. The outpouring of support from lawyers in the wake of Drumph’s “travel ban” (which, let’s be realistic: was a ban on Muslims) has been magnificent and uplifting and is probably one of the few things I’ve been able to hold onto to remind myself that life is still worth living.

I just want to help people.

Again, thanks for your patience with this week’s Plan With Me. I’ll try to get it up tonight.

Stay strong.

I love you all.

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Plan With Me Monday 2/6/17

Hello, loves!

As I mentioned last week, I’ve been trying to use up left overs and partials from past kits. But this week, none of what I have really went with the February color scheme, so I decided to try something else.

I have a Me and My Big Ideas Happy Planner, so I thought, “Why not use Me and My Big Ideas stickers?” So that’s what I did.

Now, I consider myself to be a novice when it comes to planner decorating, but I’m pretty fond of how this one came out, I’m not gonna lie.

(No pocket planner this week. I’m sick and didn’t feel like decorating it. Sorry!)

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Journal Entry from 1/31/17

This is a direct excerpt from my actual hand-written journal I keep. I feel it’s pertinent to my blog and a lot of the more politically charged posts I’ve been making on Facebook and Tumblr.



I’ve been thinking a lot about anonymity online. Where does one draw the line? What is the cutoff between standing up for your rights and others, and keeping yourself safe? Where is the line between safety and cowardice? How far is too far–too anonymous, unnecessarily anonymous–and how do you know? Is it worth the effort if you’re never a target; but how do you know how far “they” will go? When does it go from annoyingly opinionated to dissent?

I don’t want to say that America is on its way to becoming a police state, but… Admittedly, that’s less of a concern for me personally. I highly doubt the government cares what I say to my less than 100 readers, as long as I don’t make threats.

But I have a job. I work for a company with a wide array of customers and people get fired over some of the things I’ve posted (and since deleted) on my Facebook page. That’s more along the lines of where my worry comes in.

Like, I hate nazis. And I can’t believe it, but that’s a controversial statement, these days. And I want that to not be a controversial statement, and I know the only way that’s going to happen is by standing up to people who say it is.

And I want to stand up to those people.

But I also want to be able to pay for school. Or save up for my future. Or not get blacklisted from my industry because there’s a video of Richard Spencer getting decked on my Facebook page.

What am I saying? I don’t know, I’m just kind of rambling aimlessly because I’m afraid of what my country is turning into.

I guess I’m saying maybe I need to back off from the politics, at least where my name and face is involved.

It will probably make me happier, at least.

Plan with Me Monday

Hey! It’s been a hot minute since I’ve done a plan with me, hasn’t it? If you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen me post a few layouts recently, but I kind of stopped blogging about it. Oops.

To refresh your memories (or let you know for the first time), I have a Happy Planner. Now, I also have a Franklin Covey pocket-size ring planner that I take with me. The Happy Planner is just too big to fit in my bag. So, I’m one of those multi-planner people now, somehow.

Anyway, let’s get this show on the road!

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Happy Mail!

I haven’t been posting much fun, happy stuff lately, I know. I haven’t really been posting much of anything. I’d like to change that! I’m not sure how successful I’ll be since school starts tomorrow and I’m taking three courses (which is more than I’ve taken in almost a decade because school and work are not things I balance well), but I’m gonna try!

What’s happier than happy mail?

Around Halloween time, Nati J. over at Creating Emorelle posted something featuring a cute “Life is a Witch and Then You Fly” notepad that I adored. I commented saying as such and she replied that she’d gotten it the year before, but if I wanted to message her my address she’d send me some sheets. How sweet!

Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I received a thick letter in the mail. She had messaged me saying that she’d sent it out, so I’d been expecting something from her, but nothing quite so big! I wish I’d thought to take pictures of it, but I was too excited–I had to open it right away.

Oh. My. Word. You guys. She sent me so much stuff! Not only did she send me a thick bunch of the witchy notepaper, but she also sent me another bunch of some cute glasses notepaper, and a pocket letter filled with goodies!

Of course, when it arrived, California was in the middle of a huge rainstorm and the lighting to take pictures was awful. So, it took me a while to photograph it.

But I have pictures now and, seriously, my friends, this is amazing.

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Megaera and the Mojo Bag


Sunset; Escondido, CA Oct 2007

It’s been raining in California, which is kind of a miracle.

An even bigger miracle (for me) is that it was raining last night, during the full moon. So I stuck some glass jars on my balcony and collected some rainwater under the full moon. Hello, ritual water.

I strained it through a sieve lined with cheesecloth into clean jars, labeled them, and stuck them in the fridge because they won’t evaporate as fast as they will at room temperature, which is usually about 80 with the heater on.

Anyway. As I was cleaning up, holding the remaining cheesecloth in my hands after doing this magical/ritual thing, I was reminded of an old ex-friend of mine and now I have a story for you. Continue reading

Donald Drumph ruined the Empire (or: It was supposed to be fricking fiction)

I like villains. This isn’t uncommon; there are a lot of people who favor the villains over the heroes. Maybe it’s because they think the villains are more interesting characters; after all, so many heroes these days are cookie cut-outs, it feels. Maybe they get tired of having to be the “good guys” in real life; it can certainly be cathartic to think about firing a death-ray at your enemies. Maybe the actors or actresses who play them are just attractive; I’m not here to judge. Continue reading